i think i have just learn't what every other girl figured out, BOYS ARE WIERD!!!  and im not talking about the sports obsession or the toilet seat thing, im talking about guys who just cant see the line they just crossed!!!

and its like they wana colour the line so they you dont know its been crossed and BAMM you didnt even realise whats been happening till one day you pass into some frame of intimacy that shouldnt exist!

and i just dont know how to respond... you cant bring it to their attention cos then they'll know that they got caught out and it'll be even weirder and stuff.

and u cant follow thru with anything, cos lets face it, when u have a significant other in ur life AS IF you're gona put that in jeopardy. but u didnt know you were so at the same time you cant back away

and then at some stage, im wondering if maybe this is what its sposed to be like??

but that cant be true, because what i have is absolutely AMAZING and i could never, ever give that away for anything. so is this wrong??  of course it is, i mean, otherwise i wouldnt feel so guilty, but at the same it i realise i have nothing to be guilty about, because i never ment for this to happen

and twice before when someone said yes but no, it hurts so when that came guy comes back and thinks ur hot or watever, its a nice feeling, but i want that from the start, and i got that

which puts me back at square one...

and now im confused and at the same time sure that this isnt wat i want, but if it isnt then why havent i done anything to discourage it?

so help me out here... wat am i lacking as a person to have put myself in this position????

iz...

for what i dont quite know, but w/e

lets say its time for another blog, it works for me!! im blogging on this cool thing called windows live writer, which means i can blog offline and it'll automatically upload everything when im connected!!! cool huh??

so what new?? well i now have facebook, thats right, i caved after several emails telling me i needed to join to have friends or something like that. so i have it, and im seriously considering getting rid of myspace, which i dont use, and is "so, like, omg for yr 9s" direct quote from yr 10s on the tram

so i have it, and its kinda cool once u get passed the trauma of ur school not being listed (wtf?!) so i decided to sign up as a haileybury student untill they pull their fingers out and add mggs

so i got some friends then decided i needed to join the breast cancer foundation and then some other groups.  its good fun over all, but i cant see myself spending to much time there... its distracting me from my homework :P

speaking of homework, i now have a bonefide study timetable, that im strictly NOT keeping to (dont tell me tutor) actually, im kinda keeping to it, i could just be doing heaps better.  im at the stage where i know that even without an 85 enter, i'll still have a job and a university place in a few yrs through the navy or air force... so my motivation to study isnt as strong as all those who are counting on getting into melbourne or something

karate.... where to start... i sprained my toe again, this time i bent it outwards, like, leftly perpendicular to my foot (its my right big toe) and then yesterday i think i did something to it again. it has a nice ring of purple brusing around the joints and it hurts to bend

grading is on the 9th of sept for my black belt... so put it in ur diaries ppl, i want good luck messages!!! cos im really gonna need them

and james needs good luck messages for his computer, his electrons are holding a rebellion, staged by google... cos he cheated on his computer with his new laptop... its like an AI version of the bold and the beautiful!!!

untill next time

iz x